Monday, October 17, 2011

My Sh#* Show Weekend...

This one may ramble at times, as this weekend certainly was a SHIT SHOW, and I am still trying to gather my thoughts. Thank  you to my friend Dan for that awesome terminology:-)

Of course the freaking Homecoming Saga continued Friday night; Gump did not bother to show up to help decorate...neither did most of our parents. Some of them got a pass because they had other things going on, and told us ahead of time, dude that's cool...but if you gonna sit there with ya bobble head shaking it up and down like you understand what time to be here, don't just not show up. That's annoying. And retarded. And disrespectful of those that are working hard for YOUR kid. You know, because I LOVE chasing my 11 month old around trying to again remove cigarette butts and markers from his mouth while you sit your ass at home and not participate. (p.s. thanks to all the mommas who felt pity on me and tried to help with the baby-you have no idea how much it is appreciated).
All crap aside, we got done fairly quickly, and our little trailer looked pretty good!
Saturday morning arrives, and my little ball of cuteness of course had momma up at the ass crack of dawn, because you know, it's normal as hell to be up at 4am and head butting me on a Saturday morning..stinker. We got all our crap together, and headed out to pick up donuts for the team. Granted, this is very early in the morning, so one would expect that the donut shop is still pretty stocked. I walk in to order, and was met with a toothless broad who looked at me like I was retarded when I asked for 120 donut holes. Maybe she thought I was coming to bring her more meth??? Who knows. After very un-necessarily loudly announcing that all they had was plain, and chocolate WTF I am going to have some upset boys on my hands...her co-worker stepped in and took care of me. Thank gawd, cuz she was scaring me.
The parade line up was a mess as usual, total chaos, but we are used to it...doesn't even bother me anymore...probably the one thing that doesn't bug the crap out me. All the kids were so excited! We(and everyone else) were definitely upstaged by a gigantic trailer turned pirate ship complete with matching confetti-shooting cannons...somebody has waaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands. Gump drops his kid off an we never saw him until the game 6 hours later. Jackhole. Who DOES that? Only coach that didn't ride in the parade with his kids.

Whatever...we have come to the conclusion that aliens have taken over his body, and someone from space is running him with a remote control. There is no other explanation really.

After the longest game in pee wee history against one of our biggest rivals, we wound up tying. Of course we would. Then the kids start coming off the field...and inform us one of the refs told them "Quit fucking complaining' and 'you're being a bunch of bitches'. Wow. Just wow. My face is pretty f'ing hot right now, I start asking random kids-from BOTH sides-to confirm, and sure enough, looks like this guy was cursing out the kids. Oh HELL no. Needless to say it got REAL ugly-the ref denied, said all the kids were lying...dude, we are mothers of 10 year old boys, we can smell bullshit a mile away...I knew as soon as I finished asking him if he said that to my kid, that he was cooking a line of bullshit to feed me. Hell hat no fury like a mob of angry football moms-most men would rather get their balls smashed than deal with that. Dude didn't have a prayer. I heard through the grapevine that he was fired...not sure how true that is though. And I am very proud of myself for not punching the asshole in the face...and for not choking the teenager who thought it was an appropriate time to butt in an tell me and the mom next to me that we were making a big deal out of nothing. I think she may have gotten to him though...go sista!!

eff this season, eff this recreation department, eff it all. My kid is not going to watch this crap anymore.
Peace out suckas!

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