Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dr. Suess Birthday Party

I just wanted to take a quick minute to share the babe's 2nd birthday party pics....

Cake made by one of my awesome friends...
Cookies made from a local mom ....

Inexpensive wall stickers from EBay...
The goldfish bowl!
Made water labels too...
All of our signs for the food and tables...

My favorite, and by far most time consuming project-the three cheese trees that three fleas flew through! Toothpicks, foam cones, cheese cubes and a whole lot of patience required. Helpful hint-the pre-cubed cheese is way too small for this project, buy blocks and cut them yourself in larger chunks, it will go much faster!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Eating local...and letting go of the "list" and winging it.

We participated in this challenge...well we tried to anyways. I never realized how hard it really was to "eat local". We have always been big supporters of our local farmer's markets, grabbing our fresh fruits and veggies religiously every Saturday morning...it's kind of my ritual with the boys on Saturdays so we can get out of the house and let Dada sleep after working all night. Sometimes it's quick, and sometimes we are there for hours...just depends on how that crazy toddler is behaving at the time(think entire table of oranges spilled-yep, my kid did that).
But I never realized how hard it is to be a busy family, and still stick to the challenge. These days, so much of our food is processed crap, because it's EASY, and I, like many other Moms, crave for ONE easy thing in our day...unfortunately the easy comes in the form of food full of ingredients that we can't even spell. That's not good.
So we embarked on our challenge to see how well we could stick to eating local for a month. We hit the farmer's market on our usual day, and stocked up on the usual stuff...tomatoes, onions, peaches, basil, etc... and got it home...just to stare at it and wonder, what the hell am I supposed to do with all of this?
Usually, we just pick at what we have gotten from the market-it doesn't really make it into a meal, unless we are having a meal that calls for something I have purchased. It's hard to plan around what's at the market, because you never know what's going to be there, what vendors will show up, etc... 
I didn't take that into account-I am a list-maker. Big time. I have to be, we are on the run constantly, and things need to be planned out, otherwise total chaos ensues and mommy needs to drink(kidding...maybe;-)
My attempt at eating local (and eating better) miserably failed.

This past Saturday, I went into the market with a different attitude. I'm going to get what I can and make meals as much as possible based around it-not go in with a list of meals that I want to make..And I didn't care that the baby was acting like a complete fool...maybe because they had free beer samples from a local brewery...hey, it was good! But I went in with an open mind, and got very lucky that TONS of vendors showed up..our haul was ridiculous. And the shrimp guy was there..I was a happy lady.
Once again,
What am I going to do with this?
I can't possibly be the only one with this quandry every week right?
So, as much as I can, I'm going to post what we did with our farmer's market finds in an effort to share what we are doing, and hopefully spread the word that it IS possible to eat local, and HEALTHY, in a flash...

SO, Sunday for lunch, I made this:
Shrimp and Okra Stew...It.was.delish. And all from our haul.
How I made it:
Now, I know peeling shrimp is a pain in the ass, learn to do it fast, or see if your local seafood peeps will sell them peeled.
That would be the only time-consuming part of this dish.

I started with the rice-plain white Creole rice, in the steamer, with a cube of chicken stock in the water.
While the rice was cooking: Sauteed some garlic, and diced onions, bell peppers and celery(the Holy Trinity plus 1 down here in New Orleans) until the onions were clear-about 5 minutes. Then I took about half of our gallon sized ziploc of okra that we got, chopped those and threw them in(for those of you that have issues with the slimy-ness of okra, if you cook it hot and fast, it helps)...after about 5 more minutes..oh, and don't forget to salt and pepper here!!!...Threw in the shrimp(about 2lbs of head on came out to a small bowl of peeled), and sauteed a few more minutes intil just barely pink...Then threw in a bay leaf, and 4 chopped Creole tomatoes, sprinkled with about a tablespoon of Tony Cacherie's seasoning, stirred, and put a lid on it on medium. After 15 minutes, the rice is done, and the stew is nice and thick.
Serve your stew over your rice, sprinkled with a little fresh chopped parsley.
It was yum.
And about a half an hour. And in that half an hour I was being stalked by a midget who wanted juice constantly-so I'd say that's pretty damn quick.

And today, I have leftovers for lunch, and took a pear from the haul, and sliced it up over cottage cheese for a snack.

So it's possible...we can do this. Stay tuned for what we make tonight-I have a london broil defrosting!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

2,000 and counting....

So I hit 2K today(thanks to the help from some of my fab fellow bloggers)...not a huge deal in blog land, but still pretty damn cool to me. When I started blogging, I didn't know where it was going to take me or how long I would do it, but I am truly grateful to have the outlet.And thank you all for the support.

There are thousands of blogs, many of which I love, many with higher numbers, many who are funnier, and many who are really, REALLY good writers...I'm glad to be part of all of this and hope to continue it for as long as possible.

I have made some great new friends, and lost some friends. Made enemies and allies, and gotten myself into trouble on a few occasions, but with no regrets. It's all in the name of speaking my mind. Sometimes people don't realize why the mommy bloggers do what they do...I'll tell you why I do it: I live kind of an isolated life-yes we are running around to ball practice and shit, and I always have SOMEthing I need to be doing, but as far as social interaction, I don't get much. The hubs works nights, so he's never home, and I spend most of my time out in public chasing my toddler down so he does not destroy anything or hurt himself. So I blog about it and yak on Facebook- It's nice to have a place to talk about my life with like-minded people.  Not everyone has to agree with me, but at least respect it.

And boy have I learned some shit over these months! Here is my hugely smart-ass laced list:

*Someone will always think that your sarcastic post is most surely about them and throw a fit. It's the nature of the beast-carry on.

*My kids are actually NOT the grossest boys on Earth-I have decided this after everyone else sharing their kid's shenanigans, and mine are forever banned from Facebook so they don't get any ideas.

*The Mommy Wars suck and I'm over it-just let each other be please. No one is intentionally trying to fuck up their kids, we are all doing what we think is right, and so long as it's not dangerous, leave it be. Do not assume that your way is best and that you must save everyone from their stupidity-it's insulting frankly. If I get called ignorant one more time, I will seriously slap the shit out of someone.

*Google is not always fact. You are not a doctor/lawyer/blah blah blah just because you looked something up on Google. It does not make you an expert in shit other than reading. I can't say in comprehension however, because I see people post shit all the time from parody websites that they think is true. Stop diagnosing each other over the internet, and trying to be something you are not. Be ok with who you are-nobody cares about your Dr. Google MD...

*If people don't want to hear your point of view/opinion/or experience because it doesn't match what they are saying, the deleting starts. Stop doing that. It's childish.

*So many people insist on knowing everything about everything. Ya know what, it's OK not to know something-and it's not OK to tell people they are stupid because they don't know something. Stop doing THAT too. You don't have to be a know it all-we were all born with varying brain capacities and that's what makes the world go 'round-different people doing their thing in different areas. I would rather be really good at a few things, instead of trying to be superwoman. Nobody is. And those that claim to be have issues.

*I am sick of conspiracy theories. People...the government is not out to kill us all with vaccines, and bio hazards, that shit is ridiculous. They are too busy worrying about how to waste money than killing off their taxpayers, or genocide, or all the other shit that gets posted. Nobody is trying to kill you. Take off the foil hat, be comfortable in your own decisions(whatever they may be), and go enjoy your kids. Call me ignorant, but I want to remember my life with my kids was as happy as I could make it-not stressing out about un-proven heresay.

*Someone is always ready to spin your stuff into a bunch of drama. Again, go enjoy your kids. Quit worrying about what everyone else is doing.

Anyways...that's my dumb list.
Thanks again to everyone for all the laughs, the tears, the jokes and the funnies. Looking forward to many, many more!!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Buffets.....Where all manners are left at the front door...

So on Sunday, I was not feeling the whole cooking thing.Half of my kitchen is at the new house, everything is frozen, and I just don't effin FEEL like it!..What does one do when they have a mischievous toddler and a tight budget?  Buffet. Yep...should just stayed home.

Off we went to our local Golden Corral-don't judge, we gotta get in, and get out, it's the fastest-plus they have a chocolate fountain now-that shit is GOOD. Worth the ten bucks all by its self...

We got there around 4:30...thinking we would beat the usual Sunday crowd. Should have left when we pulled in the parking lot-it's full. Ok, no biggie, it's just busy, we can handle that. So we get in line behind a party of 16....again, should have left. The place is a zoo, there are huge parties everywhere..But decided to stick it out (the steak smelled REALLY good). None of them knew what they wanted to drink, who was paying, the whole nine yards-total chaos. Hubs looks at me, and we're like-let's go. But in comes ANOTHER huge party right behind us, so we are stuck in the cattle call line. Great. Meanwhile, the babe has managed to get his shoes off, and is now trying to swing like a monkey from the partitions. And throws a fit when I picked him up. Lovely. Now it's complete and utter chaos in this place...and adding to it is an employee/hostess who found herself a megaphone, and is announcing congrats to the wedding party on the left, birthday party to the right, and the FOUR graduation parties in line. It's fucking graduation day. OH.SHIT.
By now we are through the line finally, having managed to pay before the three parties behind us could confuse these poor girls any more, and after fighting with the hostess that we did NOT want to sit in the middle of the aisle-picture getting smacked in the head with people's plates as they walk by-no thank you-finally got to a decent table, and managed to get settled and off to the buffet.
Well, not really off to the buffet, more like off to the herd of cattle rushing to get to the buffet-by the time we got settled, the three parties behind us have paid, and all three have made a mad rush to the buffet line like they haven't eaten in weeks.
Still trying to go with the flow, we try our damndest to merge into traffic and get in line without touching anyone or being rude..... Except there's no line-it's become a dodge in-dodge out kind of thing. And people touching me with their plates, and elbowing, and giving me dirty looks as I get to a food before they do. The Boy, after very patiently waiting his turn, only to get almost knocked over by a very large and in charge rude lady,  is using his height to his advantage by dodging under the adults fighting over the last piece of fried chicken, and managed to get him some grub pretty quick. I can hear the employees bitching that people are f'ing greedy and wondering if they ever saw food before. All the food is gone in a matter of minutes. The poor waitresses are running like crazy. The place is a WRECK, and wouldn't ya  know it-they are plumb out of plates.
It was probably the worst experience we have ever had as a family in ANY restaurant-including the time when the babe knocked an entire pitcher of Blue Moon all over the table. Yep. That bad.
So I am taking a few minutes to rehash the rules of the buffet based on the horrific behavior we saw-it's called manners and decency people-use it:

1. I know it's not required to do so, but it would behoove you to call ahead and let them know that you have a large group coming. And if you don't-don't bitch when they take forever to get you situated.

2. Figure out the whole who's paying for who and what BEFORE you get to the cash register-it's the nice thing to do. Nobody wants to stand behind you and listen to you bitch about how your old man never pays for shit, or your cousin owes you 4 bucks, so they need to pay your 4 on their bill and deduct 4 from your bill-It don't work that way.

3. When in a large group, don't make it your mission to suck down your first drink before the waitress is even finished giving everyone their FIRST drink. And if you do, give her a minute to get you another one-you are not her only table, and sixteen of you just sat down and started demanding bread, more drinks, and a stack of napkins because your cousin let their kid crawl on the table and he spilled half a table's worth of drinks. In fact-keep your kids OFF the table period. That's just plain retarded to let your kids do that. It's so not cute.

4. It's a buffet-they WILL fill the bins when they are empty. There is no need to put your head UNDER the sneeze guard and bark at the attendant that their 'aint no mo fried chicken'...she knows, and I'm sure just as anxious as you are to get the bin full, so you will get your sweaty, smelly head away from the food. It's a buffet, they are constantly cooking, this is not the last food you will ever see. Chill.the.fuck.OUT.

5. There is an unwritten rule at the buffet-start at one end, and work your way down. It's not that hard. It's incredibly rude to elbow your way in an out of the line-people are in that line for a reason-to maintain order, you and your elbowing ass needs to get in line just like everyone else. You are not special. You are not hungrier than anyone else. Get.In.The.Damn.Line.

6. There is no need to fill your plate to the brim, eat half, and then throw the rest away. I cannot STAND that. Wasting food like that is shameful.

7. Touching-If you don't know someone, then touching them with that damn elbow, your plate, or any other part of your body or thing that you are holding, is inappropriate. I know you are hungry, and must get to your table ASAP, but running little kids over, and knocking old ladies out is not going to get you there any faster. The herd will not move faster if you push people in the back with your plate. And think about it-do  you know the last time I washed my hair-what if I had cooties or something? Why would you push your plate in my back, with my hair two inches away, and then take that food to your table and eat it. EWWWWW. Just ew.

8. People get this mentality when they are at places like this, that they can make a huge mess and it doesn't matter because they don't have to clean it up. That's rude. And shows your lack of common sense and decency. Scooping food out and missing half your plate, spilling food all over the line, and making a huge mess because you can is ridiculous. I heard with my own two ears several people exclaim-fuck it, i aint gotta clean it up. You suck.

9. There is no 'place holding' or food holding at a buffet-just because your friend told you to watch the last of the fried okra for her while she gets another plate, does not mean you should stand RIGHT in front of it and hold the entire line up, daring people to touch it-move the fuck on.

10. And finally, I know there's a lot of debate about tipping-We tip usually 5 bucks when we do the buffet. Yesterday we tipped her 10-that poor lady had two HUGE parties that ran her ass off' and left her NOTHING. Zero. Zip. Nada.  Tip your waitresses people. It's the right thing to do.

And after all of that-some idiot let their 4 year old kid play with the chocolate fountain alone, and said kid proceeded to just throw things in instead of using the sticks, then PUT HER HANDS in the chocolate to fish them out. Chocolate fountain shut down for clean out, no chocolate for me:-(  That should be #11-follow the damn rules, escort the little kids to the buffet! There's a reason!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Drug Testing Welfare Recipients


 ...Sounds like a great idea right?? At first I was all for this, but after doing my research, I think this is a BAD idea, and I'll tell y'all why....

Read the bill. It calls for drug testing only 20% of those that receive the Family Independence Temporary Assistance Program. That's it. Not food stamps, not WIC, not TANIF, nothing else.  FITAP is a temporary program in its self(max 60 months), and if you look at the Louisiana DSS website, they are ALREADY required to participate in drug screening-it says so on their checklist:

Once again, our useless Louisiana politicians are attempting to put a band-aid on a gushing dam, and ignoring the real problems.  What are the real problems? You got about an hour?  This is how I see it...

They are going about this the wrong way. We live in a broke ASS state...Louisiana has some of the highest oil royalty payments, yet we are one of the poorest states, with one of the highest welfare rates, but also some of the richest politicians. Anyone see something incredibly alarming about that? We are a state of waste. A state of lying, and cheating, and robbing legislators. Representative so and so's brother is an electrician, so he gets a contract to install street lights, yet takes the money and never gets the job done....Senator blah blah has a cousin who is an attorney, he gets contracts to review things that he never reviews and still gets paid...And nobody does a damn thing about it. This state has rampant, and BLATANT disregard for doing the right thing and doing what you are paid to do. And everyone just looks the other way. Like it's accepted, expected, and ignored. That is WRONG. All of this money flows into our state, yet none of it gets to where it's supposed to go-our elected officials, appointed officials, all of them....are robbing us blind. Meanwhile, we have an education system hanging on by a thread, and no end in sight.

Drug testing to get welfare should be mandatory. If you want the tax payers to pay your way, you should be drug free and making an effort to get off of it ASAP.  Not just 20%. And not just those getting FITAP. Because that's not really where the problem is.

The cost alone to attempt to do the 20% that they are aiming for is going to be astronomical-that $45k figure is bullshit and we all know it. Then you open yourself up to legal issues with the hows and whys of WHO gets tested. Civil suits will be rampant. All the more reason to test them ALL. And then, if you fail the test, you don't lose your benefits, you go to rehab. Anyone have any idea how much that costs??? A LOT. Like A LOT. So in our broke ass state, we will still pay for you, but we will also pay for rehab. That makes sense...spend more money.

Where is all the money for this coming from? We can't pay our teachers, we are closing schools, cutting education programs left and right, and laying people off. We drive on roads that eat your tires. Down in New Orleans, we are living in a war zone. How is there money for drug testing and rehab but not for quality of life issues? Why are we trying to waste money on this program instead of investigating the reasons why we have SO many depending on the system and fixing it? Where did this gimmee, gimmee mentality come from?? We have enabled people to be lazy and dependent on others to do what they are supposed to be doing. I get it if you need help, and you should get help, but there are hundreds of thousands of able-bodied people out there using the welfare system as their main source of income, instead of hustling to make their own way.

This bill is aimed in the wrong direction. We need to be focusing on education, and throwing money at THAT. Not some dumb, useless bill that will do NOTHING but cause problems. Test them all or none of them. Spend money on fraud investigations, and the very obvious abuse of the system that goes on here.... and all our politicians look the other way. Because noone wants to offend anyone.

Well, I don't care if anyone finds what I'm about to say offensive, because it's the damn truth...it's not a race, class, or status thing, it's a doing the right thing thing:

If you have two arms, two legs and aren't sick or hurt, your ass should be working. If you have a fancy car, jewelry, and expensive clothes and shoes, your ass does NOT belong on welfare. And you should be ashamed of yourself walking into a store covered in designer everything, and whipping out a food stamp card that I, as a tax payer, helped pay for. As I stand behind you counting my coupons and panicking if I have enough money for what's in my cart, and then load it all up in my 12 year old van, with my payless on my feet, and  no jewelry on. But I have to pay for you to eat. That's not fair.
You know why I don't have much jewelry? Because I sold most of it. I did what I had to do for my family. It's just stuff....I'll get new stuff one day maybe, but my family's well-being comes first, and it's my and the hubs job to make sure our kids have what they need. Sometimes that comes with having to sell things, or pick up extra shifts, pay bills late, whatever it takes. We do whatever it takes to make it. Because we were raised properly.
 Nobody should be standing in a welfare office until they have exhausted all other options. Shit, we exhausted all of ours and still can't get help, but we make it.  Can't quite make the light bill this month? Go sell those rims and use the ones that came with the damn vehicle. Can't make the gas bill? Go sell some of that jewelry. Can't quite make rent? Go sell that sound system. Ask for an extra shift at work, go cut some lawns, wash cars....you are supposed to do for yourself, not expect someone else to do it for you.
On the Louisiana general application, there are areas where you are supposed to list all of your assets, major purchases, cars, etc....that are in your name or available to you. So the Escalade that you have in your grandmother's name is most definitely an asset, because it is available to you. That bank account you have full of money is an asset. All of that jewelry is an asset. So many people check that "none" box. People walk into these offices lying their asses off and nobody says a word. Our social workers are so overworked and understaffed, that they can't even get through all the applications, much less start questioning the answers on them. If it looks good, it's approved...on to the next one.
It's almost like a joke in this state. Or a point of pride. Yeah I got food stamps, and the car and the clothes...yeah me! Walking into Wal Mart, I hear all kinds of joking around between cashiers and customers about how much people lie on their applications...extra kids, sharing kids, telling them you take care of your grandma who actually lives in another state....all things I have heard with my own ears. Again, as I sit there with my coupons, ears burning because I know I have to contribute to that.
I see it in New Orleans a lot....kids are raised to work the system. They don't know anything else. They are told that you have babies, you get money...you have more, you get more. There is no sense of responsibility. No work ethic. Nothing. They aren't going to work, why should they? That's the attitude that is killing us. This mentality that the government is here to take care of you has to go. You are supposed to take care of YOURSELF and your children...YOU ARE. You are the one in charge of your life-you are the one who had these kids, you take care of them. It's nobody else's job but yours. I don't understand how we have gotten to this point.Nobody is entitled to SHIT...you work for it. You earn it. This bullshit entitlement mentality is ridiculous.
Wake up Louisiana! Get on your representatives and senators to push for change, to start spending money in the right places. We need to get a grip on waste in general, and I think it starts here.

Monday, May 7, 2012

What else?

That's how I'm feeling right now. To the point where there is so much spinning in my head, I'm kind of in a daze and lost. I need to find some direction here and hoping that writing it all down will help clear it out and move forward. So I'm warning y'all ahead of time, there's probably nothing even remotely funny in this blog today. And I apologize for that, but I need to get this out.
I have to say last week was a complete shit show. After spending last weekend working the Team AJ Cabbage Ball Tournament(again, thank you, thank you to everyone who came out, supported us, donated, everything!!!), I had a feeling something was going on with my BFF…we’ve been friends for over 15 years, you know when something is wrong. I was getting that cold, distant feeling from her. Well on Sunday night, she FACEBOOK messages me that I can’t be in her wedding anymore, because her mother told her that I called her a bitch in the grocery parking lot like SIX months ago, and if I was in the wedding, she wouldn’t be there. Yes, because my favorite thing to do in life, while wrangling kids and groceries into the car, is to call old ladies bitches across parking lots. Yep. That’s me. The woman has never liked me and she finally got me out of the way. So instead of trying to get to the bottom of it, I got shoved to the side. No let’s see if it smooths over, nothing. It was very quickly decided that I was gone. The speed and finality of the whole thing left me reeling, and extremely HURT. For the record, I did NOT do that, but the damage is done, and people are going to think whatever they want about me, I can’t control that I guess. But damn. So that was Monday.
I spent the next two days crying and trying to understand what just happened. And getting no answers, just very cold, and matter of fact answers. To say I was and AM heartbroken is an understatement. I just don’t understand.
Then I get a call Thursday morning that my ex-husband is in the hospital with liver failure and it’s not looking good-his kidneys are starting to shut down, and fluid is building up around his heart. That call was a very grim one and the picture painted to me was that he was like getting ready to die or something. I’ll give you all the abbreviated version of us: He is an alcoholic. I spent 6 years of my life trying to help him, and trying to get everyone to help me to help him, to no avail. You can’t help someone who won’t even admit there is a problem. And he has friends that think there is nothing wrong and he’s ‘just a fun guy’. I don’t see anything fun about driving drunk, destroying your marriage, making a fool out of yourself constantly, and destroying your body. There is so much more to the story, so, so much more, but that’s just not something I need to tell the world.  I emotionally checked out of the relationship after a few years, and had been planning to leave for a long time, when a wonderful man came into my life and gave me the push I needed to get the hell out of a destructive situation. I was crucified and judged and had many people turn their backs on me. Again denying that he had anything to do with why we split-It just HAD to be all me. Needless to say, I was crushed by it. I felt like no one could or wanted to understand what I went through with him. It was HELL. And I felt very alone, and very very judged. I’ll say this, don’t ever judge someone until you have been through what they have. I wouldn’t wish that time on anyone…and the fact that everyone believed his bullshit really really stuck with me and hurt so bad.  Regardless, I had to go through all of that to get to where I am now-I am in a happy, and HEALTHY relationship, and have another beautiful boy. I wouldn’t change the way things went down for anything. He wound up marrying my 2nd cousin (that’s an entire other story), and shit got really bad between all of us-there was a whole lot of name-calling and mean things said. I finally talked to her yesterday, and finally heard the words I have been waiting for for 3 years now-“You were right, now I know why you left, and I’m so sorry for everything.” I knew I was right all along, and I stuck to my guns because I knew it was doing the right thing, no matter what anyone’s opinion was of it-I was the one who lived with him, I was the one living it, not them. People like to assume they know what goes on in other people’s homes and are so quick to pass judgement. I thought I would feel a little vindicated maybe by hearing that now she(and a lot of others) understand what I went through, because he’s doing it to her now, but I’m really just more sad than anything. He has wasted his life. He has let his children down, he’s let yet another wife down. As much as I want to yell “I TOLD Y’ALL SO!!!”, I can’t..because in the end, he may die, and he will die with nothing. And that is profoundly sad. I never wished that for him, and always hoped he would find a way to get himself to a better place. Either he will get better, and turn his life around, or he won’t. Time will tell. All I know is, I did what I needed to do to get myself, and my son, out of a destructive situation. I have no regrets. I’m sure as he is lying in that hospital bed, he is full of regret and remorse, and he should be. All I can hope is that he learns from it and makes amends, and makes an effort to make it right with those he has hurt along the way.
To top all of that bull off, The Boy corners me last night and asks me why we are moving? I told him the truth, that we were told our lease would not be renewed, so we had to find a new place. He says, well I know who is moving in this house, and they told  XX(neighbor kid) that we are being evicted because we can’t pay our rent. (the neighbor’s in laws own the house we are in now, we don’t get along anymore due to a horrible mis-understanding and people talking shit and changing stories, but it is what it is, now, one of their BFF’s is moving into this house as soon as we are out-how convenient right?-I think this was planned all along as soon as I decided their lifestyle and choices just weren’t my cup of tea and distanced myself-then made the HUGE mistake of writing about it, and all hell broke loose..)
REALLY people??? If I’m being evicted, it must be through telepathy, because I wasn’t aware of that! And why involve the kids in this bullshit? Assholes. Get a grip. How is it that our new house is the same money if we can’t pay our rent? Why do I even have to sit here and defend myself AGAIN?? People should just keep my name out of their mouths. Don’t presume to know what’s going on , and then present that story to everyone like it is fact. Because it is in fact NOT true. Just goes to show you what kind of people I am getting away from! Good riddance. And to you, the nosy bitch who thinks they know my business, I know who you are, I know what you are saying. Go mind your own family, because I hear that’s not doing so well! Keep out of my life, I have better things to do than spread rumors about you, like go to WORK…maybe you should try that!
Anyways, that’s what’s going on. I’m trying to get out of this fog, because there is a whole lotta packing and moving that needs to start like NOW….ready for a fresh start!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Helping out...


some very good friends set up a donation account in AJ's name....surgery is scheduled for 10am this morning, and they have a very long, scary, and EXPENSIVE road ahead. Please give if you can.
Thank you everyone!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Is it really 'reality' tv???

So last night was Tuesday...my one day a week where I can watch all my DVR'd reality shows in one shot in total peace...well my version of peace. My dearest happened to be home, and was subjected to the 'incessant cackling from a pack of beat up broads'(he's kind of  a smartass), since I REFUSED to change the channel.
So I'm engrossed in the ridiculous drama, enjoying my peace, no toddler kicking me in the face, eating out of the cheeseball bucket like a boss, and the hubs makes a comment- 'Babe, do you REALLY think this is what really happens...this HAS to be staged right?? Who does that to their kids??'
Before I started with my speech about letting me watch my show...I stopped and said to myself...IS this REALLY real? Then I got to thinking about all the insane stories, ridiculous drama and outright back-stabbing that goes on in these shows. Like really, how have none of these moms not slapped Abby Lee Miller right in the face? Who would let their child be talked to the way she does? Who looks so perfect all the time in real life-aka OC Housewives...Who sleeps with every guy they are sharing a house with for the summer, and then acts like nothing happened and there's no 'weird' hanging in the air-aka Jersey Shore...and on and on...
The answer? NOBODY. It's not real yall, this is the modern day Soap Opera. Remember when our moms and grandmas used to watch Days of our Lives, Guiding Light, All my Children, etc... religiously? Talked about the stories like they knew each of the characters personally, got sad for them, got mad for them...the whole nine yards. These old soaps are dying off one by one...Because today's Mom needs something more. Insert 'reality' tv! Original reality tv was the first 2 seasons of The Real World...that shit was REAL. Nobody had ever done that before, acting for the cameras wasn't even thought of back then.
That one show has spawned an new era for tv shows...Almost everything is a reality show, touted as real people going about their every day lives... which is a crock of shit. Take it for what it is...this is the 21st century Mom's Soap Opera, conveniently on at times when we are actually HOME! Full of juicy, crazy plotlines and nasty crazy bitches causing chaos all over this great country!  Some shows do a pretty good job of covering their made up plotlines-aka Housewives, Tabitha Takes Over, and a few others I'm blanking out on...but seriously...Mob Wives, Big Rich Texas, Dance Moms, even Jersey Shore...that shit is SO staged, and SO fake, and SO scripted. I mean really-have you SEEN 'My Big Redneck Vacation'??? WTF??? People say 'omg I love this show, you can't MAKE this stuff up!!!' oh honey, yes you can...and they did. So that's my new name for my shows, and  I am now my grandmother and must watch my Soaps whenever I get a chance...except I don't have to fool with a VCR...

Friday, February 24, 2012

People are shameful....But WE WILL make it right!

Check out this blog post on: http://nolafemmes.com/...about a heartless asshole ruining a beautiful child's favorite day of the year. After reading it, check out the bottom, and the movement that has started because of this idiot's stupid words. I for one want to know who he is, and who his momma is so I can tell her what a shit job she did raising this boy....

Lit Up Like a Parade

Thursday marked the end of a countdown my daughter started on January 6: Muses.
Each night, after she listed her daily gratitudes and wrote in her diary, she would find the countdown calender drawn on pink paper and dressed in white, silver, purple, and red glitter. With her very special pen, she would carefully cross off one more day, informing me of  the new countdown as she called out wishes of sweet dreams. As the countdown slimmed from a month, to a week, and then to days, her excitement grew.
“I don’t know if I should wear a costume this year or not, Mama,” she contemplated in the middle of a lesson on polygons for her sixth grade math class.
“Mama. do you think I will get a shoe?”
“What do you think the floats will look like?”
“Which book should I bring with me to read while we wait?”
“Should I take pictures with my cell phone?”
“I am so excited for beads, Mama!”
She was preoccupied with the parade, the Krewe of Muses, and our Mardi Gras holiday.
Since our first parades as New Orleanians a few years ago, our Mardi Gras holiday has consisted of Muses on Thursday and d’Etat on Friday. Having a spouse working in the restaurant business, Lundi Gras and Mardi Gras were never spent together – he is busy insuring everyone else has their spirits high on these two special days. And because my daughter is a high-functioning autistic child, we stayed away from the crowds of the super krewes. Just in case.
We have always watched the parades along the extended route, sometimes called the family zone, and it has been an enjoyable experience. We have reconnected with old friends, exchanging Mardi Gras wishes while catching up with the latest changes in our lives, and have met many new friends. My daughter has played along strangers, created art while patiently waiting for the show to start, and read her first Nancy Drew book along the parade route. Through the challenges that we sometimes face throughout the year, issues dealing with social and sensory issues, Mardi Gras and Muses was the moment of the year where it all faded away, where we were a normal family embracing the culture in our new city, creating memories of our new life.
As we sat on the sidewalk along the parade route and patiently waited for start time, we talked about what we thought we would see, which bands we loved listening to best, and whether Elvis would make an appearance on his moped. We watched Pussyfooters pass by on foot, 610 Stompers in full uniform, and a few Bearded Oysters with high hair weaving through the crowd.  As parade time approached, as cliche as it sounds, there was a sparkle in my daughter’s eye and a smile so big, it made me wish that she could spend her life this happy – always.
And then they came. Despite sitting on the ground, our feet on the street, they came in front of us, a gaggle of college kids holding to-go cups full of booze, cigarettes in hand, f-bombs flying out of their mouths with no care who was around them.  Once the parade started, we stood, them still in the street. Then the first marching band hit the road, forcing us all to back up, my daughter getting lost in a sea of twenty-somethings drinking a little too much. Some were local, others were not. She looked at me, her eyes tense.
“Mama, I can’t see. And that guy keeps touching me with his beer.”
Despite her 5′ 6′ frame, she was surrounded by young adults too involved in gossiping about who was going to be screwing who, which picture they had on their phones that were “too epic’ to not post on Facebook, and preoccupied by the booze pouring out of their red SOLO cups.
One boy, over 6 foot, came dangerously close to starting my daughter’s hair on fire. Only one float had passed by.
“Excuse me, Sir,” I said, ” do you think you could move over a bit. My daughter cannot see, you’ve spilled some beer on her, and you almost got her with your cigarette.”
He looked at me blankly, then looked at her. He looked at my daughter from head to toe, staring at the patch on her coat that would indicate she was autistic to medical personal should an emergency arise. He sneered at me before laughing in my face.
I put my arms around my daughter, warming her up, protecting her, whispering in her ear.
The tall man with the bear hat on his head paid no mind to us. He didn’t move, either.
“Hey, man! I need to move. This woman is bitching at me because her retard daughter can’t see the parade!” he shouted to a kid a few feet away.
He turned back to us, looked my daughter in the eye, and shouted to no one in particular. “This retard is making watching the parade a challenge.”
My daughter looked at me, knowing he was talking about her, and tears formed in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her a bit tighter and whispered in her ear that the man was drunk, didn’t know what he was saying, and sometimes the best thing to do is to know the truth about yourself and ignore what other people say.
My words didn’t matter, though. By then, she had heard what he had said, knew what he was implying about her, and she wanted to go home. Had she not been with, I may have had a few choice words of my own, but I knew it wasn’t the time and certainly not the place.
A night she had been looking forward to, planning and anticipating for a few months, had just been marred by that bad behavior of a grown person.
“Mama. please, can we go home? He told everyone I’m a retard. I’m not a retard, am I, Mama?” she asked. The grin was gone, replaced by a quivering lip. The sparkle in her eyes had dispersed, and they were now filled with a flow of tears falling down her full, pink cheeks.
“Are you sure, honey? We could walk somewhere else and watch the parade. We could move.”
“No, Mama. I don’t think that would be a good idea. People there will probably think I’m a retard, too. People don’t want people like me at parades. They won’t let us in to watch the parade. I just know it.”
I tried to comfort her with my words, encourage her, but the more I pushed, the more this man’s words hurt.
We packed up the bag holding the the goods that had entertained us for the  two hours  we sat on the sidewalk, waiting for our special night. The bag that held my daughter’s snacks, sketch pad, books, and blanket. I took her hand, and led her to the car to go home.
She cried in the car on the way home, having seen exactly two floats from Muses and having exactly zero throws to show for the verbal attack that she endured just trying to watch her favorite parade.
“Honey, I am really sorry about what happened. Maybe we can try tomorrow night. Maybe we can go to a different spot, ” I said, trying to encourage her and save the rest of our Mardi Gras.
“No, Mama. I don’t think I want to do Mardi Gras anymore. Not ever again.”
A year ago, I asked my daughter what she most loved about Mardi Gras, expecting her to say the throws, the beads, and the pretty costumes. Her answer surprised me: “I don’t feel like I am different than everyone else during Mardi Gras, Mama. During Mardi Gras, everyone is a little weird like me.”
That night, she didn’t want to share her daily gratitudes, shrugging her shoulders and telling me she didn’t really feel grateful for much. She didn’t write in her journal, only wanting to forget the night had even happened. Her countdown calendar peppered the floor in tear-soaked pieces. A night that he had probably already forgotten by the next morning; a night that her broken heart will never let her forget.

Now this is what's going on:
a movement to stop the use of that nasty word...

and check out on Facebook...my favorite girl Fleurty Girl...and all the support coming for this little girl!

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Mommy Wars and Why I'm About Done With Facebook

I remember the early days of Facebook, when we used it to keep in touch, and laugh, and watch each others kids grow up. Now it feels like an all out war...every topic is up for debate, everyone has an opinion, on EVERYTHING. At simple post about being upset for a friend turns into a heated debate. People are so DEFENSIVE on everything and everything gets taken personal. News flash to those that assume everyone's updates are directed at them...get a life PLEASE.
My biggest annoyance is what I have dubbed 'The Mommy Wars'....every child rearing topic post turns into out right name calling and 'my parenting is better than yours' shit. Seriously? when did THAT start becoming ok? Why do people think it is ok to berate a perfect stranger for doing what THEY feel is best for their kids?

Just for clarification, this is me (and this ME is subject to change at anytime, because PARENTING is subject to change at any time!!!):
*I am a BIG advocate for breastfeeding- I did it for a year with The Boy, and having failed to keep up with it after the baby (I went back to work after 12 days!) , and feeling so terribly guilty about it, I try to support anyone who is struggling with it as much as possible. Try finding support for being a 'quitter'. Negative. I got a lot of 'you are a bad mom', 'if you loved your child you would make it work', etc... REALLY? Listen Miss Judgy McFatty, kiss my ass, I did the best I could. And these same people troll up and down in chat/support groups slamming anyone who doesn't do things the way they think they should. Who DOES that? And WHY????? Ladies who think it's normal to do this" you were not put on this earth to save the world from formula, you will not get a special award for it, and frankly, most people look at the mean and hateful shit that you type and roll their eyes. Get a life. Go clean your house. Do something other than berate other moms for not breastfeeding. Get over it.
*I am also a big believer in natural birth, VBAC, and NOT inducing labor. This brings on an entire other set of creeps behind keyboards...Although I do not push my beliefs on anyone, I'm always willing to talk about it...yet you have this whole other set of moms who call people stupid, uneducated, and sheep for doing their birth THEIR way. I would love for everyone to have a natural, un-traumatic birth, but shit, that just doesn't happen very often. Momma and baby's safety are always priority one, and to see someone rip a new mother to shreds for having a c section because her blood pressure hit the roof is disheartening and makes me want to punch that bitch in the throat. Who died and made you the birth queen please??? Everybody does things differently. I put up a status yesterday about how bummed I was that a friend was induced, which ended in an emergency section, and not getting to hold her baby for HOURS. that's a sad situation...and then I got jumped on by a ton of people telling me how wrong I was and THEY didn't have problems etc...etc... Whatever happened to 'sorry about your friend, hope everything gets better quick'. Why is a status now an invitation for you to tell me what you would do or what I'm doing wrong.
*I vaccinate my kids....this is a touchy one with some of the CRAZIEST people on BOTH sides of the issue. We vaccinate because we think it is the best thing for US. We are an active family, we are always at the ballpark, daycare, school, schoolbus, etc....germs are everywhere, disease is everywhere. People's kids are in my kids faces, we are shaking hands with people at work. It's the safe thing for us to do. We did our research on each and every vaccine we let our kids get. BUT, according to the crazy ladies with foil hats(NOW, this is not ALL of non-vaxers, but the loudest, so therefore the ones that stick in my memory)...I am all part of a huge conspiracy with the government to weed out the population and pay more money to 'Big Pharma'. I have been called stupid, a sheep, and uneducated about my kids. I have been told that my children will die, turn into zombies, have been injected with tracking devices, and that my kids DESERVE to die for what I have done to them. Wow. Do you have nothing better to do all day than tell people that? How dare you. Am I calling you a retard for NOT vaxxing your kids? Because I have LOTS to say about that...like how I think you are risking the safety and health of an entire nation every time you people add another non-vaxxed kid to the mix, or how I think that your 'born free' kid could very well get my baby sick. Or that I am terrified for your kids that they will catch something that they can't fight off and DIE.  But I keep that to myself because it IS just a matter of opinion. Did I ASK you for your advice or opinion on vaccines? NOPE. So why do people think this is ok? Why is this acceptable behavior to sit at a computer all day and look for people to put down, and crucify? Does it make you feel powerful? I think it makes you look like an idiot.

It's insane the amount of time people are wasting being so judgemental and making it their world mission to convert everyone to their side...you know the ONLY side. 
My new thing on FB is going to be only happy happy joy joy posts on my personal page...i'm so sick of getting sucked into debates. People cannot handle hearing views other than theirs. I'm not commenting on shit anymore, it's just not worth it.
Whatever happened to mind your own business? Why do so many people think that their opinion matters and is the only one that anyone should have? How about everyone mind their own business, and offer respectful, non-judgemental, and honest advice...when it's ASKED for.
Just a thought.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Trying to bring my funny back...

I saw a status from one of my friends today..."I miss reading my friends funny posts, where has everyone's sense of humor gone?"... Good point. Where DID it go? I lost my snarkyness for a short while, but my girl has inspired me to get it back. Life has dealt us with some wicked curve balls these past few months...and all that while I have had such an urge to write, but can't find the time or organize my thoughts. Some really funny shit has happened in between all the bull.  I'm still clouded, but I thought I would share something I've been working on for a REALLY long time... One of my girlfriends and I were talking a while back that we should write a book about the things nobody told you about being pregnant. It started off as a joke, but got my writing juices flowing. So I kinda started it.... here goes my first part....


A satirical collection of stories and advice from a few moms who thought-“yeah I wish somebody would have told me THAT”.

This book is in no way, shape, or form intended to be taken as medical advice. We are not medical professionals, and do not claim to be. We intend for this to be a funny look at some of the crazy things that happen when you’re pregnant. If you think this book is medical advice, then please, put it down and seek professional help. But we have faith that common sense will prevail…for the most part. That is all.

About Me:
xxxxxx lives in the New Orleans area with her husband xxx and their two boys xxx, 10, and xxx., 1. She works full time,is a baseball mom, and runs a small sewing business out of her house. Yeah, she’s really bored. And also the definition of smart ass-you’ll see.

“Holy Crap I’m Pregnant”
I figured that most people who bought this book would already be pregnant-thank you for your support!!-, but wanted to add this nugget in just in case you are reading it for pure fun; in which case we thank you for allowing us to entertain you!-or for future reference.
When one says this out loud, life as we know it is changed forever, whether it’s your first or your 10th(God bless you woman!), realizing that you are adding a member to your family is a wonderful moment in any woman’s life. And one of the scariest (we’ll get to that part later).
Let’s talk about the finding out part. There are seemingly endless choices in the whole pregnancy test department, and it can be downright bewildering. There you are, standing in the aisle of your favorite drug store, between the condoms and tampons (how funny is that they are right there, like it’s the pause between the two functions(??)) staring at rows of boxes promising you joy and happiness, and sometimes with a coupon attached! Now, we speak from experience here, they are all about the same, there is really no need to buy the top of the line tests, either you are, or you aren’t. Those little life-changing sticks are pretty freaking reliable girls. But now is also not the time to be cheap-please do not buy a pregnancy test at the dollar store. Like the real dollar store where everything is a buck…pregnancy tests just don’t belong there. Ever.
You may also spend a small fortune buying multiple tests because you don’t trust the first 5 that you took. Completely understandable and highly unavoidable. Oh yes, I took TEN for The Babe. You don’t even WANT to know the story of how I found out I was preggo for The Boy…that is long ass story that stays between me and one of my BFFers. It  happens, and you’re not crazy for buying an entire shelf of pee sticks. If anyone gives you crap for it, tell them to suck it.
By now, if you have seen the two blue lines, you have frantically called your GYN trying to get the soonest appointment possible, probably to find that the next opening is two freaking weeks away. Nice. However, we do not recommend going ballistic and crazy pregnant lady on the receptionist. You will be dealing with these people for several months to come, so make nice. Save the crazy pregnant lady outbursts for later, because, trust us, there will be PLENTY of time for that. If it’s really bothering you that much, and it did for all of us…you can take a test every day until the appointment. Yep. I did that.

Sharing the News

Some women take months to spread the news of their impending parenthood, and yet others seem to be announcing before the pee is even dry on the stick. It really is all up to you and when you feel the time is right. But for the love of all that is Holy, your Mother, and Aunt Bea do NOT want to find out on Facebook. Make sure you take the time to notify important and close family members personally, before you announce to the Facebook world that your preggo. Trust us, this will save you a whole lot of bitching, and possibly save your baby shower.
 You may then commence with the announcements and pee stick picture postings. Post a pic of your pee stick at your own risk-we gave a certain one of our friends a helluva hard time when she did that a few years ago. Be prepared for the ribbing if you have smart ass friends like me. It’s all in good fun, I love her.
And do us all a favor, if you’re gonna tell everyone your news like the minute after you conceive, please for the luva gawd do not post daily FB updates on your progress…”8 months, 15 days and 4 hours until we meet our little peanut!”…A weekly update will suffice if you must. You most certainly don’t want everyone to be over your pregnancy before you even have a baby bump. Or hear-“Damn she’s STILL pregnant, I thought she had that baby months ago!” Not good.

So that's my start...I'll be adding things as I go maybe....just wanted to get this out!