Friday, February 17, 2012

The Mommy Wars and Why I'm About Done With Facebook

I remember the early days of Facebook, when we used it to keep in touch, and laugh, and watch each others kids grow up. Now it feels like an all out war...every topic is up for debate, everyone has an opinion, on EVERYTHING. At simple post about being upset for a friend turns into a heated debate. People are so DEFENSIVE on everything and everything gets taken personal. News flash to those that assume everyone's updates are directed at them...get a life PLEASE.
My biggest annoyance is what I have dubbed 'The Mommy Wars'....every child rearing topic post turns into out right name calling and 'my parenting is better than yours' shit. Seriously? when did THAT start becoming ok? Why do people think it is ok to berate a perfect stranger for doing what THEY feel is best for their kids?

Just for clarification, this is me (and this ME is subject to change at anytime, because PARENTING is subject to change at any time!!!):
*I am a BIG advocate for breastfeeding- I did it for a year with The Boy, and having failed to keep up with it after the baby (I went back to work after 12 days!) , and feeling so terribly guilty about it, I try to support anyone who is struggling with it as much as possible. Try finding support for being a 'quitter'. Negative. I got a lot of 'you are a bad mom', 'if you loved your child you would make it work', etc... REALLY? Listen Miss Judgy McFatty, kiss my ass, I did the best I could. And these same people troll up and down in chat/support groups slamming anyone who doesn't do things the way they think they should. Who DOES that? And WHY????? Ladies who think it's normal to do this" you were not put on this earth to save the world from formula, you will not get a special award for it, and frankly, most people look at the mean and hateful shit that you type and roll their eyes. Get a life. Go clean your house. Do something other than berate other moms for not breastfeeding. Get over it.
*I am also a big believer in natural birth, VBAC, and NOT inducing labor. This brings on an entire other set of creeps behind keyboards...Although I do not push my beliefs on anyone, I'm always willing to talk about it...yet you have this whole other set of moms who call people stupid, uneducated, and sheep for doing their birth THEIR way. I would love for everyone to have a natural, un-traumatic birth, but shit, that just doesn't happen very often. Momma and baby's safety are always priority one, and to see someone rip a new mother to shreds for having a c section because her blood pressure hit the roof is disheartening and makes me want to punch that bitch in the throat. Who died and made you the birth queen please??? Everybody does things differently. I put up a status yesterday about how bummed I was that a friend was induced, which ended in an emergency section, and not getting to hold her baby for HOURS. that's a sad situation...and then I got jumped on by a ton of people telling me how wrong I was and THEY didn't have problems etc...etc... Whatever happened to 'sorry about your friend, hope everything gets better quick'. Why is a status now an invitation for you to tell me what you would do or what I'm doing wrong.
*I vaccinate my kids....this is a touchy one with some of the CRAZIEST people on BOTH sides of the issue. We vaccinate because we think it is the best thing for US. We are an active family, we are always at the ballpark, daycare, school, schoolbus, etc....germs are everywhere, disease is everywhere. People's kids are in my kids faces, we are shaking hands with people at work. It's the safe thing for us to do. We did our research on each and every vaccine we let our kids get. BUT, according to the crazy ladies with foil hats(NOW, this is not ALL of non-vaxers, but the loudest, so therefore the ones that stick in my memory)...I am all part of a huge conspiracy with the government to weed out the population and pay more money to 'Big Pharma'. I have been called stupid, a sheep, and uneducated about my kids. I have been told that my children will die, turn into zombies, have been injected with tracking devices, and that my kids DESERVE to die for what I have done to them. Wow. Do you have nothing better to do all day than tell people that? How dare you. Am I calling you a retard for NOT vaxxing your kids? Because I have LOTS to say about how I think you are risking the safety and health of an entire nation every time you people add another non-vaxxed kid to the mix, or how I think that your 'born free' kid could very well get my baby sick. Or that I am terrified for your kids that they will catch something that they can't fight off and DIE.  But I keep that to myself because it IS just a matter of opinion. Did I ASK you for your advice or opinion on vaccines? NOPE. So why do people think this is ok? Why is this acceptable behavior to sit at a computer all day and look for people to put down, and crucify? Does it make you feel powerful? I think it makes you look like an idiot.

It's insane the amount of time people are wasting being so judgemental and making it their world mission to convert everyone to their know the ONLY side. 
My new thing on FB is going to be only happy happy joy joy posts on my personal page...i'm so sick of getting sucked into debates. People cannot handle hearing views other than theirs. I'm not commenting on shit anymore, it's just not worth it.
Whatever happened to mind your own business? Why do so many people think that their opinion matters and is the only one that anyone should have? How about everyone mind their own business, and offer respectful, non-judgemental, and honest advice...when it's ASKED for.
Just a thought.


  1. Awesome. You rock, Momma. I'm right there with ya, it's pretty ridiculous what Facebook has become, and yet I'm still there... but then, I have no social life whatsoever, and my friends are mostly pretty cool and don't indulge in a bunch of holier-than-thou crap either. Be yourself, no matter what, and do what you think is right, because that's the only way to be! :)

  2. I's a love/hate relationship with the FB these days! But it's my outlet, I NEED it! As do other most overworked mommas, it's our 'happy place' lol! thank you for the words of encouragement, much appreciated:-)